Wayne’s Blog

Often, my blog was said to be long compo, haha~ but… what to do… i’m not zi lian kuang, sorry la hor, whoever that read it, don’t even think any1 read it anyway, just a place where i pour alot of unhappiness, recent update, sharing with whoever that care and read about it.

Ytd was my last day of work at SGX tower2, there was some unwilling. I was abit worried about my manager aka my “Da Jie” , felt that she doesn’t have a trustable or able sup to help her out. But facts of life, if i help her, who help me, i still need to move forward for a better career advancement. Like the taiwan lady who replaced me say, i need a career not a job

Who do not want a career in singapore. With career you earn enough money you would be able to get almost anything you want. You can be the Prince Charming in the Fairy Tale. Yeah Shrek is a popular show, but… how many people now adays would rather follow Shrek leading a simple life. Every one wants to be Cinderella.

Chat with pal Donald ytd regarding some future planning. Well, he monitors the market now and then, feel that he is the perfect person that i can approach with regards to the current market situation and see if my understanding of the current market am on par. Quite positive, not bad.

Went for interview with agency today, the lady who would be helping me will rope me in for a few possible positions. Hopfully i’ll be able to get a job ASAP, as i would like to start planning to retake my O, “Back To School” Wish to persue my dream to study psychology. +u, i believe its not that late for that yet

oo, need to send resumes lo….

It has been sometime since i last updated my blog i know, as my laptop has been screwing things up for me, i’m not able to login to Friendster and Facebook. Out of the Blue, now i’m able to login to my Friendster at home… Crap… Life is full of changes and its really up to individual to accept the changes. I truly believe in life Every1 will undergo 3 stages, “growing up” “maturing” and “Numb” to find out more, ask me la…. LOL! lazy to elaborate.

Recently i’ve just submitted my resignation letter for my Temp job, its not really a bad job but prospect wise its very very limited. I still believe that i’ll be able to crave a path for myself one day, at least i’ve tried and i wouldn’t regret in the future. Every1 love to tell me, all you can do is “say” but o. True, why not? Every1 does that too. I’m still laying my stones for success, 1 day u’ll want to hear me say or tell you how i did it? But I’ll not tell you… cause I only know how to “say”.

Recently a friend of mine asked me, will you spend money to court a girl? I did not answer him, because the answer is clearly yes. Which guy don’t, no matter how you refuse to believe it???  In the current civilisation, Caring, Understanding, etc = $$, $$, $$. For examples find me -.- haha…. lazy to elaborate too. Recently my MSN nick spell it all “If Love can be bought by $$, why don’t every1 wear a price tag in te future”. Quite true right? lol…

Recently meet up with a girl, whom means alot and changed my life alot. She’s my 1st Love…. It really contains alot of mixed feeling just going out with her. Ultimatly, i still believe that, she is the kind of Wife that i would want. Think back, its 01 Jan 2003 when she encounter problem with her bf and i was like, encouraging her, giving her advise, trying to help her, console her, be there for her, and eventually…. sparks grown and we eventualy got together. I believe its the immaturity at that time that we both broke up eventually. LOL my 1st love since my 1st gf in 2000 when a 2mths 11 days relationship broke off. That time it really break my heart and the 1st time i cried till my eyes were all red, temporary blinded, Seriously. Eventually, i got together with my 2nd love on the 14 Jan 2006 after we met on the 1 Jan 2006<so….qiao> knowing her for 3 yrs plus via Maple, lol… and ended it 11mths + later because i can no longer bring myself to trust her. From that day on, i no longer believed in love and had went into short relationships, fling, scandles, all sort of funny relationships. However, during this period. i was actually searching for some1 that has been circling around my mind for the past 6 yrs. And this Yr, I’ve found her…. So so so….. qiao that its also begining of the yr…. in jan…. i cant recall the actual date but hopfully not 1 Jan cause i remember its a wkday that i saw her on the bus…

Haiz… dont’ feel like writing on le… add abit more next  time….ba… Mayb…??? Anyway, i believe that in Life there are always unpleasant things going around, most importantly we have to be responsible to ourselves, do not change ourselves for others but how to be ourselves yet accepted by others. thats my meaning of life… weird… my right eyes have been…. “twinkling”

Its been 4 long months since i’ve last updated my blog. Recently alot of things happened and i got no ideal who i can go to and whom i can approach to talk to, so i decide to "talk" to my blog. Hopefully it will help to lessen the load off me.

1st thing 1st, its always gd to have a job, even though its a temp job that last till Oct, at least i am earning. After rejecting some funny job offers, at least this job provides some challenge. As this is a new project my boss do not have sufficent experience about the way it should be fuctioning, given my previous experience, i can make use of that as an advantage.

Best part is that, it help ease my 1st worry for my future planning, Luckily! I’ve already asked my Best Friend Ivy to help me out by looking for a full time as she works for job recruitment agency, Yeah~.

Its been a tiring week, fall sick Last thursday, then drag myself to work the next day, i took a half day Time Off as i’m still not fully recovered. Sadly, the girl i like fall sick on Friday too, feeling giddy and uncomfortable. That really got me worried. Even though i myself am feeling giddy and uncomfortable i acc her to the clinic. Even though i know she’ll surely be going out later, i do not wish to stop her as i have no stand to stop her all i can do is to advise her. Being Worried of her, wat i can do is to tell her to give me a call/ sms to inform me that she’s all well and sound.

However, recently things changed suddenly, giving me the cold shoulder, after i received her sms on sat morning. From then on she’s been acting very weird lately. Just when things seems very bright and i’m ready to tell her in person my feelings. I know i’m being abit Wishy Washy at 1st, but… having consideration that i’m jobless and i do not want to be part of her burdern. As i can see she is having problem at that time. Even if shes willing to accept me, It would be tough time for her. So i choose to wait till i’ve found a job. Right now… i just want to treasure wat i missed out 8 yrs ago. Never to let her slip off anymore. Never! I’ll protect her, love and dote her be it what happened within that 8 yrs, what i mean by…. she is still the same. Its the heart for her that had never changed.

Recently theres alot of things in my thoughts…. i find that i had care too much for others, so much that no body seems to treasure and bother what i do for them so silly of me, why bother…. where is the Don’t know? Don’t care! Don’t bother Wayne? Always doing so much and in the end, the 1 that hurt the most might even be me… what a joke…. 1 thing i’m kinda sure is…. after i left this place…. i would not open up myself to anymore. Its tiring, sickening…… its exceptionally sad to see or to say, when you truly need some1, theres no 1 there for you when you try to do the best for others.

Suddenly i miss the times when my ex was by me, at least she’s always there for me. Though she had a very foul temper, stubborn, presistant. Well… memories are meant to be kept as a part of our life. Whats important is to move on, frankly speaking i’m glad that we had broke up. Recently something happened and that tells me, she had not changed an lil bit. So be it, its in the past now.

Every1 sees me as a flirt, i’m interested in all girls. LOL, who actually knows what i’m thinking….. After all these years of falling down and standing up. I’ve learned to hide my true feelings. In fact, no body would know since "i like every1" haha…. unless i say that ba…. but does it matter, no body would even bother

Tired… really mentally tired… le, i’m a human too, i need to be treasured too, needs care and concern… Perhaps really like Candice always say, Ren Yuan Bu Hao…..haa…..

First thing First…. SO happy~!!! then KEn and Yong Zhen, Grats bro~!!! so happy that they had moved on to the next stage in life, Finally CHen ren le.

LOL, how Fate like to joke! Just Had a big quarrel and almost a Fight. In order not to make my mum worried….. my Fist can only be rained on the wall…sorry wall….

Thought that the friend that knows or understand me slightly more then any1 else would be free to acc but well… i’m wrong…. woudn’t blame her… she has her life and no obligation at all….  Sometime human are likta, whatever lies before you are just something on the surface. Who knows the real me? whats in my thought? The heart pain, the lonliness, the feeling of unwanted. Hence i treasure those that treasure me alot then any1 else. Which ppl might not understand why or think that i’ve got ill intentions.

Whatever the case…. don’t feel like staying at this "home" anymore…. jus go out walk walk ba…. as what she says, sometime being alone might be a gd thing. In case my sister read this blog…. " Mei, its not i choose to MIA, in order not to make things difficult for Mum, I got no choice, if not for mum, i wouldn’t be staying here anymore"

Too many things going over the last weekend, had an enjoyable outing with Peiyi, peiyi’s sister (4gotten her name) and her friends. There were so much joy and laughter just like my outing with my company jokers. Lol. Took Medical Leave on Mon and Tues, hais, had a bad headache and stomache.

I‘m home early just because i’m broke, everyone has been questioning me, why am i so broke every month when i do not have that much liabilities. Nothing to complain, i had a place to sleep, had a normal pay. The reason behind….. i may seems to be happy, cheerful, energentic, cheeky but who truly knows and am able to see the sadness, loneliness that i had it hidden. Just like my current msn nick "我算是什么?自以为别人开心我就开心,到头来,谁都不开心" hence, i am always out, using wahtever i have to buy happiness, enjoyment. A moment of happiness is always better then sadness, well thats me.

Hehe, thanks o xiao mei "Rachel" for reading up my blog, i aknowledge that this blog is like a holy bible and erm… words and words…. lol!!! Well i agree that, i really should start saving now for my own future. Starting from next Mth.

My Dear has been missing in action since a month 3weeks + ago. Well i understand that she would be busy with her work, just hope that she will take good care o herself and don’t tired out herself.

Well 1 of my guy collegue is so similiar to me, so much in thinking and character. But of cause, we had a big difference in looks, spending power and qualification. Somehow i see the way he handles relationship is like….. the last time me. Hehe, of cause the difference now is that, if i like something i’ll just go for it. At least i try as i hate the word "早知道" …. i had screwed my life so much with so much "早知道" as i am easily influenced by others in the past, i think that contributes to my mentality now, "我只相信我的眼睛" haha…… guess i had say alot more, LOL! whoever read my blog, Thanks and Sorry~ going to watch水浒无间道Lo~

LOL! 2 steam boat sessions in 3 days, zzzz i’m having a slight sore throat now. I had never enjoyed BBQ, Steamboat…..Common, why do i pay to cook and eat outside -.-" well thats me… haha, of cause its kinda fun to gather around a table talk crap, gossip, sing song and eat… its well nice :). I went with JX and of cause his gf, the "birthday girl - Jia mei" on sun and kinda find 1 of her friend Si Min quite nice and has acceptable look. And today i went with my collegues.

Basic theory coming soon -.-" had not done any read up. zZzZz, Might borrow from my cousin the upcoming sat -.-" after helping him shift house.

Well, miss my dear so much, though i am kinda used to her disappering act now. Of cause its not a bad thing to have room for misses…anyway, i’m not thinking of changing or having any new gf :/ though its an unknown situation if we will eventually work out. But, i strongly believe trust is important to the relationship . Hope she can +u in whatever shes doing now and get back to me with her latest updates asap :/ Another sleepless night…..

Loads of things to update recently, haiz, sad things happened around me recently, felt sad for others too. Sometime when a relationship looked more stable, the ladies tend to take things slightly for granted and missed out that small details add up to something big which would end up ending something that they do not expect. Anyway, its really a sad thing, but just hope every1 would be able to move on and learn from individual mistakes. Anyhow, i really wish a friend of mine would not leave and to stay back but its her decision ba :), later regret blame me xia. Haha.

Recently Kelly keep saying: "yaya, u’re the most perfect guy, keep complaining and whinning about others shortcoming". Lol, what i can say is, i might see things slightly clearer then others but of cause i am not perfect at all, all i want was simple and plain life. Be if i feel it is good for my friend or whoever, i would advise them without bothering if they find me naggy or not :/

Suddenly my "baobei" during IRC time left me a comment, i was shocked lol~ she actually check out my blog. Hehe, well i would greatly appreciate and thanks for reading up as my blog is like a Bible~! hahaha. Words and no pictures…. lol~ i’ll try to upload some… NEXT TIME… hopefully the next time will come anytime soon…. WAHAHA…. anyway Claire"baobei" thanks for the reminder but rest assure i’m old enough and am able to judge what i am doing now :).

Some regular updates in my life:
Work - had never been smooth especially with such screwed up managerment around, haiz…. well i believe i’ll just do my part and thats it.
Love - Still a question mark, my dear is missing for a mth now. guess she’s busy with her commercial/work. Just hope that she’ll be able to spare out a bit of time to update me
Momey - no Comments, i’m broke now, with only 7 bucks left in my Ezlink. i had already planned my salary next mth, pay hp bill, return money, lap top monthly pay back. i should have more then enough to survive, enjoy. I guess what i really need to do is to cut down on entertainment. I must stick to my plans next Pay. I REALLY NEED.

What a day to start with, bus 963 broke down at Hillview area and i had to get down the bus. Thinking off, die~! i’m gonna be late for work today….zZzZz, who knows i’m right on the dot 9:00Am haha~!

It can be considered 1 of my happy day today to eat my mum home cooked porridge after so long. Thank you mum. I love ya for bringing me up and teaching me so many things in life, i cant be bothered with your husband and the always MIA sister. 

Thanks my friends for acc-ing me these while glad to have you guys and gals by me. MmMmM of cause not 4getting my dear, mia again zhen shi de, don’t know i miss her mehz :/ hehe. its good to be alive

Recall that, few yrs back, when i had a set back after losing Jessica, she appeared and somehow became my darling, after that she informed that she would be going to Aus and everything ended. Now, after the lose of Jennifer, someway somehow she became my Dear…..Was it fate? Or a joke from heaven to send her to bring me happiness during my saddest time. Suddenly its as though she was the Female lead in Jay chou’s show "不能说的秘密 - Secret".

Recently i saw alot of low keys in my life, there were also alot of low keys in my own life. 1 by 1 my friends broke up, haiz….it hurts me to see ppl around me hurt, makes me feel sad and hurt too….. Really wish all my friends were and will be happily ever after :/ haiz…… Suddenly wonder am i being too kind to people? Silly me right? Not as if my relationship failed, yet i feel sad for others. There were many doubts in life, so much that i start to question my way of living. Can my happy go lucky character really last long? Was it the pressure? Was it my character that upset me this much now adays that i’ve becoming pessimistic each and everyday?

周杰伦 - 不能说的秘密

词:方文山 曲:周杰伦

冷咖啡離開了杯墊
我忍住的情緒在很後面
拼命想挽回的從前
在我臉上依舊清晰可見

最美的不是下雨天
是曾與你躲過雨的屋檐(oh~~)
回憶的畫面
在蕩著秋千 夢開始不甜

你說把愛漸漸放下會走更遠
又何必去改變 你說過的誓言
你用你的指尖 指示我說再見
想象你在身邊 在完全失去之前

你說把愛漸漸 放下會走更遠
或許命運的簽 只讓我們遇見
只讓我們相戀 這一季的秋天
飄落後才發現 這幸福的碎片
要我怎麼撿